What Happened To the "Best Defense"?

Coffee by my side and rain on the brain.  They SAY it's spring. No bloody comment!

Anyhoo, I have a theory.  Don't laugh. Ok...go ahead. Not About spring or, spring madness. It's a retrospective Theory. In the midst of madness, am floundering for any sight of logic to preserve what's left of my sanity.  Every morning seems to be another WTF?! moment as my fuzzy, de-caffeinated brain reels in the current news laced with Alternative Facts.

Evil has an insatiable hatred of anything associated, even via third cousins, with that rapscallion, Humor. Faced with   the remotest possibility of laughter,  Evil will round up his Bully gang.  The old "hood" cronies Hatred and Greed with muscle guy Fear swinging at the rear.  Like bowling pins they will fall when cracked with a full pitched ball of ridicule.

Enter,  The Theory.  In retrospective contemplation, American elections are held in November for a reason.
  Aside from a year long exhaustion of mud slinging, bull shit and fantastical political promises,  November has one main attribute. The Holidays are just around the corner.  Just. (And in the US, this is a knock-down, drag-out form of consumerist Torture)  There is only so much time for fallen opponents to gnash their teeth and rant for recounts.   With Father Christmas waltzing in on carols of Good Will and Brother Love, the populace has only Good Friday to demonstrate their angst and fury. It's the start of the Holidays...

For years I wondered, with mild alarm, at the idiocy that calls itself the "Sale of the Year".  How many TVs can one possible own and totter out the store with? I know, rhetorical question.  Aside from the junk bought (as credit cards slide into overdrawn home-runs in a day) half of this stuff ends up at the spring garage sales, still in the original packaging. So, What is the Real reason for this yearly madness?

  Ah,  here it comes. The THEORY.  Distraction. Modern version of Roman arena death matches.   Let out the violence, grab the prize, go home with the booty.  (Worry about paying the piper later, if and when sanity returns)... January slouches in and the banks gloat with Ebenezer Scrooge parties. As the saying goes" "payback is a motherfucker"..

It's Spring now. Rumbling protests, highlighted placards, immigration, scandals and general mayhem.  Just put up the "Closed, Back Later" Sign. And, forget setting the paper clock. There is no policy left of "Return Within 30 Days"of purchase. Not this time, Folks. Payback WILL be The Mother of all Motherfuckers.  Sorry people, am reduced to basic terms. There is no other term to describe the current Cluster-fuck, State Of Affairs. ( By the by, That one is a legitimate military term!) This one makes past presidents; Nixon and Clinton look like shining examples of morality.

Let's get real. We knew the foundations were rotting and the Empire was teetering, before November. (Hence Black Friday Sales).  But, so long as Netflix and Hulu promised new shows on those un-paid TV screens, the populace could lapse into a safe coma of mind-numbing dis-connection.

Wake up Dudes. Darth Vader ain't in Kansas anymore! ( Yes, I know! Am mixing my story-lines. It's call writers license and I got mine eons ago..)

The US is effectively without a government, health-care is in it's death throes and the economy will soon follow the pointy white hats to the burning cross.  God ran for the Canadian border and isn't looking back. But, don't worry too much. Military spending is skyrocketing, (Ivanka should get into military fashion to perk up her sales) and a distracting war will be around the corner, just in time. Can't buy big toys and not play with them... Yep. The shit has finally hit the proverbial fan and it's spreading itself around.   You can't break the plumbing and not expect that to happen...

My eternal optimism is being challenged, even as I appreciate my coffee and window seat in the sun.  It might be time for me to come out of my Cave and bring my big wooden spoon to the table again. Some pots need stirring and I am bored of Netflix....

Where has our Best Defense of laughter gone, if the idiots don't understand our sarcasm anymore?












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